Saturday, December 15, 2012

Missing the past, missing a Father...

Dear Dad,

How are you doing up there in Heaven? I hope you've been resting well with grandma and grandpa up there.. As you can tell, many things have occurred lately. There's no point in lying about how i'm feeling, because you probably know well enough how i'm doing... School is good, finals are coming up next week and my study plan failed this week... I know, I know... no excuses. But i'm really working as hard as I can Daddy.. I'm even striving to get straight A's this semester... but my CAS 310 class is SO incredibly hard... i'm landing at an 85% and my children's theatre class is at a B because i'm not a theatre major. How lame is that? sigh, well.. I know I still have a lot to get done.. but something tragic happened today and I couldn't help but not share the same feelings with the parents who lost their kids today at a bloody massacre.. Instead, I lost you.. I miss you Dad... SO much, you have no idea. I try and make myself busy by applying for more internships and studying as hard as I can, while still maintaining a healthy lifestyle. But I dont know what happened.. It's as if I'm stuck back to being the little girl who longs for a day to spend a whole day with her Dad.. I'm stuck Dad. I miss you, and I know you're probably telling me to just shrug it off and move forward, but sometimes I can't. I really do fight and try to ALWAYS stay strong. If it's not for me, but mostly for Connie. But I can't help it sometimes... I sometimes still can't believe I wont be able to get a chance to see you, to scold me, to direct me, to advise me, to hug me, to wish me happy birthday every year, to not be able to meet that special someone in my life, to not be able to walk me down the aisle and give me away in my future wedding.... sigh. I miss you Dad. I don't think i'll ever stop missing you.. There are times I definitely can control myself, and try to stuff my life with things to help occupy my time. But, I can't help but to miss you. I miss you hugging me and telling me things will be okay... I miss your lame jokes. I even miss you always checking on your blackberry for business emails... Sigh. I know, I need to get myself together again. I always have been, but I can't help but breakdown sometimes with the realization of not having you in my life anymore... I can only hope you're doing well up there in Heaven, and that I will never fail to try to make you proud of me every single day.. I will be okay, don't worry Dad. I just sometimes miss you like crazy out of the blue, and I wish you knew how much Connie and I truly did cherish you as a Dad. It's going to be Christmas soon... another one without you. It'll never be the same. But, I know I have to put on a strong face. Trust me Dad, I try really hard every day. I just miss you terribly today. I love you, Dad. Forever and ever.

Your daughter,
Megan.

2 comments:

News 4 You said...

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aionbest said...

I just sometimes miss you like crazy out of the blue, and I wish you knew how much Connie and I truly did cherish you as a Dad. It's going to be Christmas soon... another one without you. It'll never be the same. But, I know I have to put on a strong face. Trust me Dad, I try really hard every day. I just miss you terribly today. I love you, Dad. Forever and ever.LOL Coaching
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