Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I miss them.





Lately, i've been feeling a lot of emotions far beyond my mind to handle & honestly, i'm so exhausted. Sometimes, i just really wish for a peaceful mind. And, I hate it when i realize that i'm all alone & vulnerable, because at that moment, i just wish to see my family the most. It's scary to know how our mind works. It can bring you through so many decisions, it can push you through your heights, but it can stoop you to the ground. You know how when you think of something so much that you just end up tossing and turning in bed the night before you have to wake up early for school? yeah- thats me right now... sigh, I sometimes wish I can escape and be with the people I love and care the most. I wish work or school wouldn't get in the way when you want to see your family. I mean, i've got nothing to complain but I just wish all of my family were here. They always know how to make me feel so much better. Whether it's soul food or big warm smiles.. It sucks that whenever I start thinking of them, it reminds me how far away they are from me and I just wish to spend just a few days away from all this stress so I can regain back that family love. And I really do wish they were here to give me long warm hugs, to tell me their amazing stories, their rough experiences, their guidance, and mostly their presence.. I dont know. Is it that i'm selfish to ask for them to come down here so I can feel like myself again? Or is it because i'm so family-deprived lately.. sigh- I miss how they tell me to "hold up my head" or "just keep striving megan. I know you can do it" or "i'm so proud of you" type moments. I know they'll tell me those few wonderful phrases so I can make the best out of my life and look at the bright side.. but, it's sometimes so hard to go through days when they're not here. I miss them. I miss all of them so much.

But- no matter what, my dad, my auntie lee, my grandma, my cousins tina & tom, always tell me to press on & hold onto my strength. To always reach beyond my goals and cherish the precious moments that make your life worth while.

So, God- if you can hear me, please send them my love. Tell them that I will be strong for myself. Also, tell them that no matter how far away they are from me, I still do think of them- and how their life lessons have taught me to become the person I am today. And most importantly, tell them that I love them. very much...

Until next time guys,
Love your family. no matter what.
goodnight.
<3